In Recovery Since 12/21/2018

My name is Teresa and I am [living in long term recovery]. I used drugs for over 20 years. In the last few years of my active addiction I lost everything, my 3 beautiful children, my home, my parents trust, myself, and eventually my freedom. I was defeated by the streets, in county jail with no bond and not wanting to be released. I knew this was my saving grace. I called home to let my family know where I was, and I had some amazing people from a local church, Grace City Church in Bourbon, send me my first recovery bible. I spent my next 3 and a half months in that bible learning about recovery and God. After seeing the Judge a few times and obtaining a public defender I had the option to be released as long as I had a home plan the court would agree to. My parents still did not trust me coming home, so I home planned to a christian based [recovery residence]. I learned so much about myself in the 3 short months I was there. The first year of my Recovery I focused on only my recovery. I can’t save anyone else if I can’t save myself first. I remember people telling me this is the time to be selfish and you can only do this for you, and I would know I’m doing this for my kids/my family. But I now know, I can’t save them, if i didn’t save myself first. I had to fix me to help them. I was hitting AA 2 times a week and faith based meetings once a week, keeping to a very strict schedule of meetings. The second i would slack off I would feel it mentally. Then I became a core leader of the recovery ministry at my church and i felt a real sense of purpose. God had a calling for me. I knew why I was pulled out of the darkness.  After the first year and all the kids were back in the same household I started focusing on my career more. My meetings cut back a lot. My career took over and I had to step down from my leadership at the ministry. I’m  in my 3rd year of my Recovery and a spot where I’m learning a good balance between working in the recovery groups and my career. I’m confident in myself, I have a whole team of accountability partners who know when to make sure I’m doing okay. And a strong support system at home that helps me maintain. Recovery isn’t about just staying [off drugs], you have to work through the feelings and everything life throws at you and it helps to form and maintain healthy relationships with others in recovery to lean on when you are weak.